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16 December 2007 @ 08:05 pm
Been doing a lot of soul-searching lately...  
...since last week Friday and the sudden realization that my job means VERY little in the grand scheme of things. :P In that vein, I tried to go online to register for my night school classes - which begins a new session in January - but, my class (ASL 2B) isn't being offered this term. :P

I knew I shouldn't have taken the class break that I did, and now I feel like I'm not on track anymore. There's no non-credit class available and the only credit course that's available that I can possibly get to (and not have to quit my job) this semester is ASL 202 - which I don't think they'd let me take (although I'm going to call the registrar's office on Monday to ask). So, I'm stuck this term / semester without a class. :P

And since it's been a while since I've taken my class, I know that I need more interaction or I'll just forget everything I've learned... It's hard for me because I tend to be a little shy when it comes to signing to people I don't know. I know I have to get over this eventually, but right now, I'm a little stuck where I want to interact with people to expand my knowledge, but I don't know where to find people to interact with and I'm a little shy about it when I do find those situations... :P

And speaking of cross-roads in my life, on a COMPLETELY different note, I'm sort of at a turning point with the whole traveling to see Kevin perform thing... I think I may have outgrown that, if that makes any sense at all. This entire year, all my theatre travels were to see people other than Kevin - if I saw a show of his, it had more to do with the fact that he was cast in something that happened to be playing while I was in town seeing other people...

True, I did go to see "Sleeping Beauty Wakes" because of him, but what I ended up getting out of it was so much more... It introduced me to Groovelily (the amazing and talented Brendan and Valarie) and the incredibly talented Russell Harvard, and most importantly, got me re-interested in ASL again after many, many years. And if I didn't meet Russell there, I never would've done a website for him and then I never would've met Anthony (who contacted me after seeing the work I did on Russell's site...) So, I do have a lot to be thankful to Kevin for.

But the whole, me traveling to see Kevin perform thing I think is pretty much over... which is kind of sad in a way - like the closing of a chapter in my life. I will still maintain his website and see him if he's performing when I happen to be in town, but the need to travel specifically to see his shows has somewhat ended (I think). And because it's been so long (7 years now) it's VERY strange to not be defined by him anymore... :P

He was the one, after all, who introduced me to everyone that I know - from Nick, Julie, and Misty (from the Side Show days) to Bets, Steve, Kristi... everyone! Because of that, I will always be thankful to Kevin. Don't know exactly what I'm saying here, but I think things have changed for me, in the way I'm viewing the theatre traveling these days...

I think the above is what happens when I have an entire weekend to myself at home, with no place specific to go... I end up over-analyzing things... The Kevin-thing is strange, but I've been feeling it for a while now. The not having a class and needing interaction thing I really need to find a solution for... If anyone can offer any advice in that respect, I'd be so grateful!!

I'm off to catch up on all of your entries, play Scrabble, and NOT think about any of this...
 
 
Current Mood: pensivepensive
 
 
 
Όμορφη καρδιάqueenstacey_25 on December 17th, 2007 05:45 pm (UTC)
You know, I think I understand what you are going through with Kevin.... I had Jason Weaver for hockey. I'd go to all his games to support him, and he was a great friend. But I don't know, I just seemed to get over it. Almost like the magic of watching him wasn't there.... I don't know. Weird but it happens. It's just another chapter in your life that's closed. You have the wonderful memories and that's good.


HUGS!
Sheri: Kevin facial hair :)shutterbug93 on December 18th, 2007 06:26 am (UTC)
Ah, I do remember all your Jason Weaver posts. :) But you are very true, I don't regret any of it because of all the wonderful memories - and the wonderful friends I've made in the process. :)

Those were some very good years!!

HUGS!
Care: Can I see the gray?careleswhisper on December 17th, 2007 06:17 pm (UTC)
What you said about Kevin makes perfect sense. We all go through those stages I believe. It's ok for that chapter to close. The memories will always be there. :)

As for interaction, I wish I could help you. It's such a bummer that they aren't offering the class you want this coming semester. Hopefully they will let you take that one class. I know it's easier said than done, but I'm sure you have great skills and won't be shy once you show them. :) *HUGS*
Sheri: Kevin - as Trevor Graydon in shutterbug93 on December 18th, 2007 06:30 am (UTC)
I think so too! :) And I don't think it means that I'll never see him in a show again - because we know a lot of the same people and he works with many of the people I know, I'm sure I'll see him around and in shows from time to time... but it's a lot different now - where I don't feel I HAVE to be at his shows anymore. :) And the memories I have of all the shows I've seen him in are absolutely wonderful - Millie in NYC, Mass, wonderful, WONDERFUL times! :)

And I did call today and they told me that my class wouldn't be available until Summer... :P I have to figure out what I'm going to do to keep practicing my skills until then... :P

Thanks for your comment!! HUGS!
(Anonymous) on December 18th, 2007 06:00 pm (UTC)
Hey Sheri,

This post definitely resonated with me... I look back on my years in high school and how I centered my life around my trips to NYC. I was always saving my money for show tickets and I lived my life from one New York weeknd to the next because things in Massachusetts just didn't do it for me. And while it may be a little embarassing to think of what a silly little high schooler I was just a few years ago, it was still a part of my life that I learned from and at the time I really needed. And now that I don't need that anymore, it doesn't invalidate the experience/chapter of my life. I think it's more important to realize when the chapters end, look through the photos and remember the good times and focus on who we are right now, in this moment, and go on with the next chapter.

I know that was more of an anecdote than advice but I hope it was helpful. I totally get what you're going through. And I too am the queen of over-thinking and over-analyzing when left to my own devices!
Meredythbroadway_rose on December 18th, 2007 06:00 pm (UTC)
Hey Sheri,

This post definitely resonated with me... I look back on my years in high school and how I centered my life around my trips to NYC. I was always saving my money for show tickets and I lived my life from one New York weeknd to the next because things in Massachusetts just didn't do it for me. And while it may be a little embarassing to think of what a silly little high schooler I was just a few years ago, it was still a part of my life that I learned from and at the time I really needed. And now that I don't need that anymore, it doesn't invalidate the experience/chapter of my life. I think it's more important to realize when the chapters end, look through the photos and remember the good times and focus on who we are right now, in this moment, and go on with the next chapter.

I know that was more of an anecdote than advice but I hope it was helpful. I totally get what you're going through. And I too am the queen of over-thinking and over-analyzing when left to my own devices!
Sheri: Kevin facial hair :)shutterbug93 on December 19th, 2007 07:11 am (UTC)
Meredyth!

Thanks so much for your comment! I've missed you! And you put into words exactly how I feel about the whole Kevin situation... I have so many lovely memories of the theatre trips I took to see his shows and I've met so many wonderful people because of him, but those days of traveling JUST to see him are over. And I'm not sad at all, because I realize that it was because of him that I met some wonderful people (both in and out of the theatre business) and it's probably because of him that I even got in to web design. A lot of really wonderful things came out of those theatre trips - and I'll always have fond memories of those days!
Meredythbroadway_rose on December 18th, 2007 06:01 pm (UTC)
Aaaah sorry that posted twice! I didn't mean to post as anonymous- I didn't realize I wasn't logged in yet- you can delete the first one!
karmastyxkarmastyx on December 19th, 2007 01:04 am (UTC)
You have your memories. You'll make some more. However you are thinking about it in a good way... you met so many people theatre, and non theatre because of him. I know you'll always be thankful for that.

Is there any ASL volunteer programs you can attend? Maybe you can also speak to your last teacher about it too, ask if there are any events or programs you can join.
Sheri: Sheri - fingerspellingshutterbug93 on December 19th, 2007 07:18 am (UTC)
I will forever be thankful to Kevin for all the lovely people I met through his shows!! Nick, Julie, Misty, Bets, Steve, Kristi - the list is endless! And I'll even say that it was because of Kevin that I got so interested in web design to begin with. My life would certainly be A LOT different today had it not been for him.

LA theatre is still a HUGE love of my life, though and I will still try to see as many shows as I can - some of them he may be in, but I won't center my theatre traveling around him anymore - that I'm pretty sure of.

As for the ASL stuff... there are very little volunteer opportunities here for that. A friend of mine asked me if I wanted to volunteer at the Center for the Blind and Deaf (which would be wonderful!) but the volunteer opportunities are only during the day and sadly, I work! :(

Only once in a while events like Deaf Santa or the 50th State Fair come around. I'm thinking of trying to look for events or workshops in LA while I'm there for my theatre weekends... I'm not sure...

Thanks so much for your comment, Laura!! Big HUGS to you!!