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12 September 2004 @ 04:42 pm
Last night  
...I went with my Mom to my cousin's husband's memorial service. It was such a shock for us to find out that he'd passed away because he was so young. :( What made it even sadder was that he left behind a darling five year old daughter. I got to meet her for the first time last night and she was SO cute and so outgoing. She hugged me several times and seemed completely unaffected by her father's passing. Being 5 years old, I'm not too sure that she fully understands the concept of death other than her Daddy is now "in heaven." It was really very heart-breaking. :(

My cousin seems to be handling all of this really well. She put on a good face last night and was her old lovable self. Though I know a thing or two about putting on the "good face" for others - as I've been doing it for the last 13 years. :( Listening to everyone at the service talk about my cousin's husband, I wish I'd gotten the chance to know him more... he sounded like a wonderful husband and father. :(

The service was beautiful and really got me thinking about my own faith and what I believe about God and the afterlife. Apparently, my cousin is taking this so well because she is comforted in her faith and in knowing that she'll see her husband again one day. Sadly, and quite honestly, I don't know if my faith is that strong. If anything ever happened to Mark, I don't know what I'd do. :(

I also got to see a lot of my aunts and uncles that I haven't seen since my wedding. They're all in their 80's and 90's now (my Dad was the youngest sibling in his family by far. Most of my cousins' children are older than I am...) and they've suddenly started to look really frail. :( One of my aunts who used to be the most gracious woman I knew, isn't doing so well. She's very forgetful and last night asked me if I was old enough to drive. "How old are you now? 17?" She kept asking me. She also kept saying what a shame it was that my Dad passed away because "he was just nuts about you!" It was really sad to see how much her personality has changed. :(

Wow - how's that for a depressing post on a Sunday evening? :P Sorry - to those who have recently added me, I'm not usually this depressing. :P I'm off to make some No-Pudge brownies and hopefully be back with a more uplifting post a little later. Hope you're all doing well...
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
ex_angeldove677 on September 12th, 2004 07:58 pm (UTC)
It didn't sound pretty depressing. I think it sound informative. I didn't know that you believe in God, so do I. Dunno what church you go to but me too...not sure if my faith can hold me if something goes wrong with my husband. I sometime think about that. I pray to God to help me walk with him constantly.
Sheri: Sheri - yahoo iconshutterbug93 on September 13th, 2004 01:12 am (UTC)
I don't think I could be as strong as my cousin - I admire her a lot - she's going through so much yet looks at everything with such a positive attitude. I wish I was more like her.
Kananigirlkananigirl on September 12th, 2004 07:58 pm (UTC)
Sheri: Sydney - couchshutterbug93 on September 13th, 2004 01:12 am (UTC)
Thanks so much, Rayna. *HUGS*
Kananigirlkananigirl on September 13th, 2004 04:18 am (UTC)
No problem, when I don't have any words to say. I know that a hug would bring some comfort.
With a spark: Nature: Waterfallconchispa on September 12th, 2004 08:37 pm (UTC)
Death of my loved ones is probably my biggest fear. I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to John. I worry about it sometimes but then try to put it out of my mind.
And yes, it is very sad to see people grow old and frail. I know it's all part of life and blah, blah, blah but it does not make it easier.
Sheri: Sydney - couchshutterbug93 on September 13th, 2004 01:25 am (UTC)
It's one of my biggest fears too. And seeing my relatives age so drastically in the few years that I hadn't seen them really saddened me. :(
karmastyx: heartkarmastyx on September 13th, 2004 02:33 am (UTC)
It's sad to see loved ones age. It's like you have a snap shot of them in your head, that shows them how you think they look. Only to find them getting older year by year. I know I at least do that in my mind. HUGS to you.
Sheri: Sydney - couchshutterbug93 on September 13th, 2004 02:51 am (UTC)
I think that's what made me so sad. I was so used to seeing my aunt one way my whole life and suddenly she seemed to be a totally different person. She didn't even recognize me at first - until they told her who I was. :(
intootjeintootje on September 13th, 2004 02:52 am (UTC)
Sheri: Sydney - couchshutterbug93 on September 13th, 2004 02:57 am (UTC)
Thanks so much, Kati. *HUGS* back!
kenna_clairkenna_clair on September 13th, 2004 06:33 am (UTC)
I'm sorry to hear about your loss. My sympathies to you and your family.

I was away on vacation so didn't see your comment in my journal - you're very welcome to add me to your friend list. I'm going to add you!
Sheri: Sheri - yahoo iconshutterbug93 on September 13th, 2004 09:14 am (UTC)
Thank you for your kind words - and for adding me. I've just added you as well. Sorry you came in on such a depressing post, I'm usually not so sullen. :P
Smithasmittenbyu on September 14th, 2004 10:25 pm (UTC)
Losing the ones I love is my biggest fear! I just can't (ok... don't) imagine it and don't know how I would handle it! I'd like to think I am a strong person, but I don't know what it would be like!

I moved back here with my parents after seven years. When I first got here I was in shock to see how much my parents have aged! It hurts to see the things they used to do with such ease is a slight struggle now.

And having faith I feel does bring strength!