October 23rd, 2003

Doug & Sheri

Sydney update

Well, we found out the results of the recent blood tests that Sydney took and I'm afraid it isn't good. Sydney apparently suffers from liver disease. :( What caused it, we have yet to find out. It could be as serious as liver cancer or it could be a really bad infection (which, we're hoping for). We took her in again for a few more tests today to see how damaged her liver is and she'll be taking an ultrasound tomorrow to see if they can find any tumors on her liver.

Basically we were told that her prognosis depends on 1. what caused her liver damage (there's not much they can do about liver cancer) and 2. If it's NOT liver cancer, how damaged the liver already is. So we should finally be getting a lot of answers to questions that we've been having for a while now, but the real question is: Do we REALLY want to know?

I really didn't get any sleep last night. I kept waking up every hour to make sure that Sydney was okay. Later I thought she must've thought, "Stop waking me up to see if I'm alright, darn it!" But I couldn't help it, I worry a lot about her.

I've been holding it together okay and haven't cried once - well, until this morning. Mark and I were sitting on the ground assessing whether Sydney was okay to be left at home alone for the day and she stumbled over to us, gingerly picked up her toy, and dropped it in front of Mark. I completely lost it then - I SO wanted her to be her lively self again. :( Though I have to admit that it was a good sign to see her bring Mark a toy.

And for the most part I tried not to act like anything was wrong at work. I did talk with my co-worker who is a real dog lover and who I had talked with a lot when I first bought Sydney 6 years ago. I wanted to tell her because I knew she'd understand. To my surprise, she started crying and that's when I lost it too. :P I think it's good that I've finally let out my emotions about this, but in the middle of the bank? Maybe not the best choices of places. :P

I was happy to see Sydney wag her tail and walk over to me this afternoon when I came home from work. I don't want to get my hopes up, but that seems like an encouraging sign. Thank you all so much for all your thoughts and prayers and for not making me feel silly for getting so emotional about this. *HUGS*
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