October 26th, 2004


Work thoughts. :P

Today was one of those days that I just really hated my job. I hate being the bad guy - and my position as a compliance person makes me the one who has to "police" our reps on a day to day basis. Generally I love my job because I love the paperwork and I genuinely like and get along with all of our reps. But today... I had to reprimand a couple of our reps and I hate doing that. They were pretty upset with me and made a few snide remarks because I wouldn't approve their trades, and because I had to write both of them up for not following procedures. :P I couldn't help but take it a little personal (which I know I shouldn't do.) A little tiny part of me today thought that maybe I was a little too thin-skinned for my job and that maybe I'm not really cut out for it.

Oddly enough, tomorrow I'm meeting with my old boss' new branch manager about another job offer. They're looking for an Assistant Branch Manager at my old boss' new company and he suggested me for the job. I've known about it for a while, but have been trying for the past few days to sort out my thoughts about it - which is why I haven't written about it yet. :P This, unlike the previous job offer is not a step backward for me, in fact, it would be a great opportunity for me to move up. The pay is VERY comparable to what I'm making now and I have all the qualifications for the job...

At first, I turned down my old boss, saying I was happy where I was (as I had done for the other job before). I love my office-mates and work is actually a joy to go to (usually) and I wouldn't give that up for anything. But the more I thought about it, the more I thought that if I didn't at least go and see what the other job has to offer, I'd always wonder. I think I, at least, owe it to myself to see exactly what the job is about before I dismiss it completely,... don't you think?

Well, that's been my rationale behind my meeting tomorrow. :P I feel a little guilty because no one at work knows about it and I feel like I'm betraying them, in a way, by even thinking about this. :P But after the day I had today, I couldn't help but wonder if staying is such a good idea - maybe I'm just not cut out to be the compliance police?

In any case, it's why I haven't been sleeping too well lately and why all my recent entries seem to be void of any sort of emotion - this has been on my mind for quite some time. :P I'm still highly confused about the whole thing (and still feeling guilty about the meeting tomorrow) - hopefully after tomorrow things will be a bit more clear for me. :P

Hope you all have a nice evening. I'll have to update about the Lea Salonga concert tomorrow - I'm just too exhausted to do it tonight. :P
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