July 5th, 2006


The issue of children...

Just got home from another fabulous dinner with Susan and we talked about everything from shopping to dieting (or our inability to diet - which is more like it) and the issue of having vs. not having children. These conversations with Susan always make me think... For those who don't know, for me - growing up and all throughout my early twenties the most important thing in my future was starting a family. And for those who haven't been with my LJ since the beginning, at first Mark was VERY opposed to the idea of children - he didn't even want to discuss it most of the time which made me really sad and frustrated. :(

Slowly, as the years went on I immersed myself in various things that kept me busy. I began traveling and seeing shows and creating websites... all things that kept me happy and fulfilled in my non-working hours. Shockingly enough, one day I woke up and it occurred to me that I think I might actually be okay with the idea of NOT having children... VERY shocking for me since it's all I ever thought about for my future and really scary in a way. I know deep down inside that things that I've gotten into recently - like my web design business - would have to be put on the side if we ever decided to start a family. And I'll be quite honest when I say that I'm not sure I'm willing to give that up...

Susan and I talked about all that today and how, almost 10 years ago when we first met how we never thought our lives would've turned out the way they did. Not that I'm complaining at all, because I've been blessed in more ways that I could ever imagine... but it is a lot different than I had expected.

And who knows? People are having children later and later in life these days... My story isn't completely over yet, there's still a chance that one day Mark & I will change our tune... but for now I think I'm content the way things are and for now, my fuzzy baby is enough for me.
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