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27 January 2007 @ 07:14 am
In need of some serious work related advice...  
Did you ever wake up one day and wonder if you were doing the right thing in life?

Lately, I seem to be doing that A LOT... Please don't get me wrong, I'm EXTREMELY thankful for my job and I LOVE all the people I work with (most days), and I'm not sure if this is just a product of the incredibly stressful week I've been having or if it goes deeper, but I've been seriously trying to evaluate my job situation the past couple of days...

For those of you who don't know, the investment industry was never something that I wanted to get into from the start... I have a degree in art and the LAST place I expected to end up was in management for a bank brokerage firm! That aside, I've committed myself (over the last 10 years) to learning everything I could about the business and went from Associate, to Operations Coordinator, to Compliance Officer, and finally to my job as a Regional Sales Manager. And it was never easy or fun (I have to work ten times harder than the average person to understand financial matters since this isn't an area of strength for me,) but I was determined to make it work - and one of the things that kept me there so long was the wonderful people I worked with throughout the years...

Lately I've been wondering if it's all worth it... This week, my BIG boss has called me numerous times a day to yell at me - some of which are things that I have absolutely no control over, some of which is simply ridiculous... And as I've mentioned before, I know my BIG boss has a big heart, but I'll be the first to admit that he isn't the easiest person to work for. My schedule recently has been incredibly taxing,... I'm hardly home and when I am, I'm trying to get in the few hours of sleep I need before I head off to the next neighbor island for a meeting. I'm not complaining at all, it's just become a fact of life that I've barely been able to spend any time with Mark these days... :(

Which brings me to an email that my sister-in-law sent me... It was for a job opportunity at the University... A once in a lifetime job, if you ask me (the person who previously had the job just retired). It was for a photographer / public relations / publications person. Looking at the ad, I have all the qualifications (degree in photography, min 3 years experience...) and parts of me seriously want to consider this...

Two things are holding me back from trying, however,... the first being - is this even a job that I could seriously compete for? I know I have a degree in photography from Brooks, and years of experience in the photography field, but for the past 15 or so years, I've been in the financial industry - who would even consider someone like that for a great job like this? The second is the pay... I know I've always said that pay doesn't matter to me at all (I've given up many higher paying job opportunities because I couldn't leave the people I work with...) but the advertised pay for this job is CONSIDERABLY less than what I'm making now - almost 50% less, to be exact...

One last thing about my current job and then I'll end this... I originally took this position because I believed I could make a difference. I love my co-workers and I love all of my reps and I really have a desire to want to help all of them succeed. It's an extremely high profile position within the bank and I'm constantly thankful for everyone who had the faith in me to actually let me get here... I would never want anyone to think I was being ungrateful... It's just that recently, with all the verbal abuse and unrealistically high expectations of my BIG boss and the stress of trying to be everything he wants me to be - but never in a million years being able to live up to it... I'm slowly finding myself turning into someone that I don't like... Yesterday, when I was getting my morning yelling from him - I actually yelled back... which I never do. I'm not sure what this job is turning me into, but it's someone I really don't want to be...

And this is where I ask for your help... Is this University job an idea that I should even entertain? Or am I just burnt out completely, frustrated at my BIG boss and just feeling a moment of "maybe I can escape this place?" Your opinions are highly valued and much appreciated...

Sorry to burden you all with this - it's been weighing on my mind heavily for the past couple of days and I'm having a really hard time separating frustration and sheer exhaustion from "maybe I'm just in the wrong field." I thank you all for your friendship, for putting up with my long rambling posts, and in advance for any advice that you could send my way. Big *HUGS* to all of you!!
Current Mood: confusedconflicted
Care: stuck on youcareleswhisper on January 27th, 2007 06:01 pm (UTC)
Well, I can't tell you what to do, I can only tell you what I might do. Your current job sounds like it has put a lot of stress on you. Stress is so very bad for your health. You deserve to have a working environment that is mostly stress free and you DO NOT DESERVE a boss who is that abusive!!! When I read that he yells at you for things beyond your control, that pissed me off! No one needs that kind of treatment. Now, we all know that you are more than grateful for the job you have. You never need to convince me and hopefully others otherwise. When I read that you SIL sent you that job posting, I actually smiled. Why wouldn't they consider you? The only thing you need to ask yourself is if you can be ok with making less money. If I was in your situation, I would at least apply for the job and see where it takes you. I would also consider dropping back down to a lower level at your work. I know that is easier said than done. I just hope that if you decide to keep your current job that it will get a lot easier on you soon. *BIGHUGS* Love ya!
Sheri: Sheri - yahoo iconshutterbug93 on January 27th, 2007 06:36 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much for your feedback, Carrie!! You've always been wonderfully supportive of me - throughout everything and I appreciate it, more than you know!! Big *HUGS* to you!

The sad thing with my current work situation is that it's not going to get any better. The other RSM has been a manager for 25 years and she STILL feels like she's out of control and running around like a chicken without a head because of the management style of my BIG boss. He has unrealistically high expectations for everyone that no one can live up to!

I sooo appreciate your input, Carrie and I thank you for always being such a great friend to me! I know I have a lot to mull over and you're right in a way, it couldn't hurt to look at other options, right? Big *HUGS* and lotsa love to you!!
ilenebook on January 27th, 2007 06:08 pm (UTC)
I think you should probably wait to make those tough decisions for a time when you can think straight. If it starts making you feel this way you may end up losing more important things.
Quiet yourself down..take some time...then explore things on the side...things you want to do.
Good luck sweetie.
Sheri: Sheri - yahoo iconshutterbug93 on January 27th, 2007 06:40 pm (UTC)
Thank you sooo much for your input, Ilene!! I do agree that I need to think about this when I've had the time to cool down, and relax a bit - distance myself a little from the situation. Thanks so much for being a wonderfully supportive friend to me - you're the best! Big *HUGS* to you!!
(no subject) - ilenebook on January 27th, 2007 08:56 pm (UTC) (Expand)
the artist formerly known as: regularnikki42 on January 27th, 2007 06:25 pm (UTC)
Put yourself first. I don't think it would hurt to look into the university job. Also, think about what it would take to be happy in your current job.
Sheri: Sydney *SIGH*shutterbug93 on January 27th, 2007 06:46 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much for your comment, Nikki! As for what it would take to make me happy at my current job... I really don't know. I love my co-workers and my reps and I love supporting them and I really want to help them succeed, but I know this pace is not going to let up and I know that my BIG boss will always be this way. But, I guess, along with the great vision for our program and the high expectactions of my BIG boss comes the unrealistic nature in which he expects us to get things done... It borders on insane, really... and I don't know if I can do this for any prolonged period of time... :P
karmastyxkarmastyx on January 27th, 2007 06:33 pm (UTC)
Well Sheri, I have to say I totally agree with my sister. I think you are right to weigh other options. I don't think it would be wrong, because taking abuse is never worth it. I know people yell and other things when they are upset, but that is still no excuse if it was something that you didn't even do. Now I know this will be a tough choice, but also take some time and think about things before making said choice. HUGS! I hope things can get less stressful.
Sheri: Sheri - yahoo iconshutterbug93 on January 27th, 2007 06:51 pm (UTC)
Thanks SO MUCH for your comment, Laura!! A year ago I never would've even entertained the thought of this... Though my old job was VERY stressful, it didn't have the unrealistic expectations that my BIG boss has for me in this job. The other RSM has been a manager for 25 years and she STILL feels she can't live up to his expectations... It's ridiculous the pace that he has us going at - but still, we're trying our best, running ourselves absolutely ragged in the process and STILL it's never good enough for him...

The sad part is that because of his personality, it's not going to get any better...

Thanks so much for listening to me vent and for being such a great friend to me, Laura!! I have a lot to think about. Big *HUGS* to you!! Love you lots!
Blessed!: AbbyFlowerschickadee2525 on January 27th, 2007 08:14 pm (UTC)
my best advice....hug Sydney. :) It will bring a smile to your face until this can be worked out!
Sheri: Sydney & Sherishutterbug93 on January 29th, 2007 04:36 pm (UTC)
Ah - you were right, Sydney HUGS do wonders!! :)
With a sparkconchispa on January 27th, 2007 08:58 pm (UTC)
Here is my philosophy when it comes to things like that:

1) Take the time to think about it.

2) It is always easier to decline an offer than to receive one.

3) Get it from the horse's mouth. If you want to get a better idea of what the new job may entail (and, in your case, if it would be worth the pay cut), apply and interview so that you can interview them as much as they may interview you.

4)Do NOT make decisions based on the fear. Be it fear of not being good enough, fear of making changes, fear of what others will think, or any other fear.

In the meantime, sounds like you could use a massage and (((hugs))).
Sheri: Side Showshutterbug93 on January 29th, 2007 04:39 pm (UTC)
Thanks SO MUCH for your words of advice!! I do agree that one of the worst things I could do is NOT take a chance because of fear... and one of the things I wanted to make sur this weekend was that I wasn't doing that. I appreciate your feedback, though and I have been thinking about this a great deal over the weekend.
kathyselden on January 27th, 2007 10:28 pm (UTC)
Ok, I realize you have to take Mark's job into account, BUT ...

today we had a workshop with one of the associate producers of Chicago and she was talking about there being a lot of business opportunities in theatre. I don't know why, but I started thinking about your ability to do websites, and I'm pretty sure with your photography background you can do graphic design ... PLUS you have work experience in finance ... have you ever thought about entering into the business side of theatre? I don't know. I juust feel like you would be SO FULFILLED. I mean, you could work with publicity - you're so enthusiastic, I can totally see you doing it.
Sheri: Sheri - yahoo iconshutterbug93 on January 29th, 2007 04:51 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much, first of all, Ashley for your comment!! You know, I never really thought about the business side of theatre as a career option... but since you mentioned it, I think it's something that I'd completely enjoy! The sad part, though is that I love living in Hawaii and with that I realize that there are VERY limited opportunities for work in the theatre industry here. Mark & I have thought about moving in the past (more for his job than mine) but so far, we've not been able to bring ourselves to do it.
(no subject) - kathyselden on January 29th, 2007 07:37 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - shutterbug93 on January 30th, 2007 07:14 am (UTC) (Expand)
Sabine: Mickisabine10 on January 27th, 2007 11:04 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry to hear about what happens at your work, Sheri.

I never would think that you are ungrateful and it seems to me that the people at your work should know you so good that they too don't think it. To me you are strong and loyal; through all this stress you still can see that your big boss has a good side. Well, not being able to spend some time with my partner, verbal abuse and the stress because of the unrealistically high expectations (Is there any possibility that this all will change?) would give me much trouble so, for myself I can say that I would give the university job a try. Still, I can imagine that it's not easy to start something completely new, to give up some security and those you like at work.

Whatever you will decide, please first think of yourself and Mark, the way your life shall or will go and don't think too much about what others could think. I'm sure that those to which you are important will understand and accept your decision. Much love and big *hugs* to you, Sheri!
Sheri: Sheri - yahoo iconshutterbug93 on January 30th, 2007 07:17 am (UTC)
Thanks SO much for your comment, Sabine!! You've always been such a wonderfully supportive friend to me and I can't thank you enough! :)

Sadly I don't think that my BIG boss' expectations will change - the fact that I'm only two months into my new position and he already expects the world of me isn't a good sign! :(

Whatever ends up happening, I want to make sure I feel that I gave my job my best - even if my BIG boss doesn't see it. I don't think it could hurt to explore other options - at least I'll know what else is out there. :)

Thanks again for your comments! Big *HUGS* to you!!
I'm so cool too bad I'm a loser: (dogs) jack and jillaudienceawaits on January 28th, 2007 03:36 am (UTC)
I *completely* understand your dilemna. And on one hand, you want to be able to say, try for the other job if it is like what you'd really like to be doing with your life. But then on the other hand, money is still important especially because it helps you be able to pay for all of the things that make you happy like theatre and travelling! And also you want to be able to figure out if it is just a bad week or you really are unhappy with some of your situation. :/ It's such a tough decision - maybe something will come up that will really make up your mind? Or.. is it possible to find out more/apply at all for the new job without affecting your other job? Or would you have to take a big chance?

And I haven't really offered any advice.. :/ But I guess, I just completely see your dilemna and I know it's such a hard decision to make. I mean, to a lesser extent, I'm having similar feelings. When we graduate, I probably *could* stay at my current job and be making money, but also, I want to take a chance and just push myself into just finding a new job in Toronto and making all the changes that I know I need to make in my life. I mean, your situation is far more complicated than mine, but I absolutely see both sides of the situation.

Good luck with making a decision and I really hope someone else has better advice for you than what I have pitifully offered.. hehe :) ♥
Sheri: Sheri - yahoo iconshutterbug93 on January 30th, 2007 07:22 am (UTC)
Thanks so much for your comment, Gill and for your incredible friendship!! I appreciate it so much!!

I've always said that money doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things, but really when it comes down to it, everyone has to pay bills and make a living. However, I know that continuing on with my current job will only make me stressed and frustrated and turn me into someone that I don't even like...

Thankfully this week has started out a bit better than last (perhaps because the numbers came in today and we're all a bit closer to making budget...) In any case, I still have a lot to think about...

Thanks so much for your supportive comments and for your understanding. It really means a lot to me! HUGS!
(Deleted comment)
Sheri: Sheri - yahoo iconshutterbug93 on January 30th, 2007 07:27 am (UTC)
I'd forgotten that you were an art major, Angela! But I know how you must've felt... sometimes no amount of money is worth being unhappy in a job...

Thanks so much for your comments, Angela!! Really, your support means the world to me!! And I agree about my boss yelling... I want to tell him that negative reinforcement really doesn't work on me - it just gets me mad and frustrated... ;P

I know I have a lot to think about... Maybe it isn't the university job that I really want, but just a change in career paths... There's a lot I need to consider.

Thanks so much again for all your support and your friendship, Angela!! It truly means a lot to me!! Big *HUGS*!
Mrs Beans: Me--Groanhuman_beans on January 28th, 2007 04:32 am (UTC)
You just seem so much more the kinder, gentler and more sensitive person to be in a position in such a cut-throat industry. ((Sheri}}
Sheri: Sheri - yahoo iconshutterbug93 on January 30th, 2007 07:27 am (UTC)
Rita!! You are just SOOO sweet!! Big *HUGS* to you!!
bigrivermusicalbigrivermusical on January 28th, 2007 05:06 am (UTC)
Sheri, first of all *HUGS!*

I'm sorry to hear that you got yelled at many times. I can't imagine such working environment.

About the university job, are you interested in and is this something you'd like for a long time? If so, at least apply for it and have an interview. It would be good to observe other fields (However, I have to warn you, sometimes academia is very bureaucratic). This sounds very cliche but I'm a true believer that money cannot buy happiness.

I'm worried that your health may be in jeopardy if you continue to work like this too. Can you talk to your Big boss? Is there an Employee Assistance Program at work? You should use it and see a counselor if possible. Like others said, put yourself first. I hope things improve for you.
Sheri: Sheri - yahoo iconshutterbug93 on January 30th, 2007 07:32 am (UTC)
Thanks so much for your comment!! And I totally agree with you that money can't buy happiness. I was one who really never cared too much about the money - the main thing to me was liking who I worked with and not even really what I did. I have to say, I really like my co-workers and all the reps I work with (on most days) ;) and I really think that's what keeps me plugging away at my job.

And I've tried talking with my BIG boss before and he's backed off and then he's started back up again. I think it's in his nature to be that way and I can't blame him - I think that what keeps him motivated... But for the rest of us with families and lives outside of work, it can get to be too much. :P

Thanks so much again for your comments!! Big *HUGS* to you!!
morsefanmorsefan on January 28th, 2007 05:33 am (UTC)
A "once in a lifetime job?" Why haven't you applied?

Seriously -- if it really is that, this should not be a problem. It's not even about your current position in that case; it's about getting to be maybe where you always wanted to be or should have been.

Yet, you are still wondering, so I'm intrigued by your thinking.

Normally I would assume you have talked to Mark about this, and you have not said that, so I don't know, but that's got to be the first thing. Because he seems to be "that kind of guy" when you talk about him, I also assume he will support anything you want to, but especially in light of the large pay cut, I would be interested in his thoughts even if I were going to advise you -- but if I were you, I would care more. What does he choose to say without your even prompting him?

I know where you are coming from as to being in a career situation that was not really right for me (not sure I am even now), but it was lucrative, and it financed other interests. Does that matter to you? My gut tells me that you only get to do this life thing once and it should not matter that much, especially if as you are getting a few years older this stress is so intense that it may be affecting your health, as I see above (!!).

It definitely makes sense to me to make the application. You can always say no. You might also learn something about the job market you did not know that might help you find the "true job of a lifetime" (wink!). Besides, it is a little bit fun thinking about options, no matter where they lead. They certainly remind you that you are not trapped, and that is very important to know.

I will be very curious to see where this leads. I think you are going to apply. I hope you get an interview! Then you'd have a real dilemma, but I'm not sure at that point it would be much of a dilemma at all.
Sheri: Sheri - yahoo iconshutterbug93 on January 30th, 2007 07:38 am (UTC)
Thanks so much for your comment and your thoughts on this issue. :) And maybe "once in a lifetime" was a bit over-stating this university job, but in Hawaii there really are close to no photography jobs open - someone literally has to retire or die before a position opens up. :P

And I have spoken with Mark about this and he's being the supportive hubby by saying that it's something I'll have to decide on my own, but whatever I do decide, he'll support me. Which is wonderful, but almost frustrating at the same time...

I've decided that it couldn't hurt to inquire about the job. The worst thing that could happen is that I don't get it and I'm no worse off than I am right now... right?

But I did want to thank you for your insightful comments and for your support!! I really appreciate it!!
lindasings on January 29th, 2007 07:21 am (UTC)
First of all, let me point out as regards your concern that "is this even a job that I could seriously compete for?" ... Honey, you're really not all that great at BS-ing! Honestly, if you're not qualified, they won't offer you the job, so stop worrying about it.

Normally my advice would be to keep the high-paying job. But, Sheri, you've been miserable since you started. Yes, you've had good days, but the bad ones have far outweighed them. Big Boss is verbally abusive, then he apologizes and is very sweet for a while. Then he does it again. How long would you take a relationship like this if he were physically abusive? It will only get worse. You need to get out of there.
Sheri: Sheri - yahoo iconshutterbug93 on January 30th, 2007 07:41 am (UTC)
Linda!!! I've missed you around here! Thanks so much for your comments! And I know you know how miserable I've been - heck, when I've seen you I'm usually just coming out of a stressful work week haze... The only reasons I've stayed so long are the people (the back office staff) and the reps... I really do like all of them and they're my biggest reasons for not wanting to leave...
karen: jersey boys hoff reichardwakedistracted on January 29th, 2007 01:49 pm (UTC)
Oh, Sheri, I wish I had more advice for you than I do actually have. I think the reason I can't give better advice is because I can totally see myself being torn this way in the same sort of situation and being very indecisive about it.

On one hand, it's not good if your job is causing you too much stress and keeping you from spending time with Mark. But it is also something you've worked hard for; and the money part has to play a factor, I'm sure, since the money enables you to do things like take your theatre trips.

This new job could be a great opportunity, too, though - a chance to try something new and to be more involved in something you're passionate about. It could be worth a shot to go for it, to at least see what happens?

I don't know know what to tell you...I'm sure this didn't really help, except to reiterate what you've already said. :) Like I said, I totally understand how you feel about this and the dilemma you're facing. Good luck with your decision!

And never apologize for posting like this...we all love you and want to see you happy, no matter what you do! So we're all more than happy to listen and offer advice where possible! I just want everything to work out well for you - you deserve it!
Sheri: Sheri - yahoo iconshutterbug93 on January 30th, 2007 07:49 am (UTC)
Karen!! Big *HUGS* to you!! Your comment literally made me weepy! Thanks so much for your comments, but more importantly, thanks so much for your incredible friendship! It truly does mean a lot to me!!

I think that you're right in that even though money doesn't play a huge factor in my decision making, it does enable me to afford the things I love - like theatre... I know that if I were to change careers at this stage in my life I would literally have to start from scratch again and that's a incredibly scary thing...

Maybe it's not this particular job opportunity, but just the idea of finally doing something that I have a passion for that's the really appealing thing... I'm not sure if I'd ever have the guts to start over from scratch, though...

Thanks so much again for all your support and good thoughts. You have been a wonderful friend to me and I appreciate it so much!! Big *HUGS* to you!!